Difficult and proud

Today (2017-03-02) in comedy email exchanges, at Mythic Beasts we received the following spam from Michael, we thought we'd reply and check him out...

I just took a look at your website and I am wondering if you would like
to redesign it, to give it a more modern look. I can also optimize it
from SEO point of view.

My name is Michael Strommhaus and I am a certified Website Developer. I
am proficient in HTML5, CSS 3, JavaScript, JQuery, PHP & MYSQL,
Wordpress, Magento. I also have a 10 year experience in the Digital
Marketing and Search Engine Optimization fields.

In today's online marketplace, rankings and the appearance of a website
are the primary condition for traffic.  How your website is ranked in
the search engines sets the tone for all of your interactions - with
customers, partners and media. You cannot afford to be outranked by your
competition in such a crowded landscape like the internet.

Please write me an email if you are interested.

Warm Regards,

Hi Michael,

>My name is Michael Strommhaus and I am a certified Website Developer.

Could you send us a copy of your certificate.



Hello Pete,

My certification as a web developer means that I have certain
certificates of courses from Udemy in HTML and CSS, PHP and MySQL,
Python and Django, Javascript and Jquery.  It is not like there is a
diploma for "website developer".


Hi Michael,

I'm confused. Are you a certified website developer or not? If you are,
can you send us your certificate?



Pete, a website can be developed using certain frameworks and
programming languages. For example one can create the same website
using: PHP, MySQL, HTML and CSS or C#, .NET, HTML and CSS, or Drupal, or

So I am trying to tell you that there isn't any certification as a
Website Developer. There are certifications for PHP, Python, MySQL, etc.

Why do you need my certificates?


Hi Michael,

>Why do you need my certificates?

You said in your opening sentence

'My name is Michael Strommhaus and I am a certified Website Developer.'

Whereas I think you meant to say

'My name is Michael Strommhaus and I am not a certified Website
Developer because I don't have a certificate'.

I thought I'd ask for your certificate to see if you were telling the
truth or not.



You are a very difficult person Pete. You only understand what you want.
I wish you the best of luck.

Of course if you'd like to work at Mythic Beasts, they have a jobs page at jobs.mythic-beasts.com and they sell all kinds of lovely servers and have a Raspberry Pi 3 cloud.
Currently the website is built from a mixture of perl, TT, haskell and yesod, none of which Michael appeared to know. Poor Michael.

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