Last updated 03/03/97
Oh my god! Where am I?
Welcome to the pit that is my Page 101. A place of Things That Should Not Be.
In here, all things unspeakably foul suffer their own private torments. But you
can watch!
Household Objects
It is a common error to believe that there are only humans in Page 101. In fact,
there are very few humans, though there are a number of creatures which do a
passable impression.
Adverts
Just when you thought it was safe to watch TV, one of these can hit you...
- Ferrero Rocher (So bad it's legendary)
- Kinder Egg (Worse than above, but less well known)
- Any Telstar ad.
- The Singles Network (Are you lonely tonight?)
- The Vauxhall Babies ad. (Chainsaw!)
- Any toothpaste ad. (They never use any bloody toothpaste!)
- The Boots '17' army-style ad. (Cinemas only. Enjoy the film, boys.)
Sounds of the Pit
Above the screams of anguish, can occasionally be heard sounds which in a highly
delusional state might actually be considered musical (in the same sense that
some people think their dogs talk to them). These sounds currently emmanate from:
- The Spice Girls (who are not even slightly "fit")
(If you know the address of the Quake vs Spice Girls page, mail me.)
- Peter Andre
- The Fugees (who are currently being whipped harshly with a cat'o'nine tails, while shouting "one time! one time!")
- Any song which contains any of the lines "Girl", "Yeah girl", "Oh girl", etc.
- Any song involving the way rain has a negative effect on the singer.
- Peter Andre again, because he deserves it
- "The Mac" (who has returned and feels it necessary to tell everyone)
Thanks to Tom Wheeley for bringing those last two to my attention. His attempt to
rescue the Spice Girls however have proved fruitless. Thankfully.
How can I help?
As you can see, Page 101 has recently suffered a well-organised escape. The
inhabitants are now at large in the community. Help is needed in tracking down
these demons and returning them to their rightful place. If you think you know
something that belongs in Page 101, mail me. If the mere mention of its name
burns into your monitor, you've probably got one.
Do not feel pity for anyone or anything in here. Remember - They had it coming
to them.
This page was created by Tom Lynn. Comments etc. to:
thl22@cam.ac.uk.
Homepage
